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Monday, 7 November 2005
Day One
Mood:
 sad
Now Playing: Nothing
Topic: Relationships
I am sure there are a ton of people that are dealing with their emotions. Maybe some just got out of a relationship while others are trying to get past one. In my case, I am in both worlds. I am sad and hurt over my failed marriage and now I have to get over another failed relationship. Why did it fail? Well, the best way to put it is that I am afraid of the world and of the future.
When you used to think you new what you wanted and who you wanted to share that with to one day having nothing your brain sorta becomes moosh or you are one of those lucky people that can bounce back. Maybe I think too much and allow myself to hurt too much but how else do you deal with pain. Time is what usually makes it fade so I am hoping that in time I am back to being me.
Life sucks sometimes..
Tuesday, 11 October 2005
Life
Mood:
 down
Now Playing: Silence
Topic: Relationships
Life can really suck ass sometimes. I don't know if anyone will ever read this but this is the beginning of what I would like to call "the road to happiness".
Happiness? Can I ask a dumb question? What is that? I am happy most of the time I think. There are times I wonder if it is a big front that I put on. I have been doing it so long that I don't even know I am doing it anymore. I catch myself staring off into the distance often and have never felt so confused in my entire life. At the age of 30, I have become someone that I don't even recognize anymore. My goals and dreams are nothing but a faint thought. I lack the motivation and confidence to become the person I want to be.
I used to be all about work and money. You need money to be happy and goals and strategies. Funny, none of that seems to matter anymore. What I want is happiness. What I want is a family. All of that other stuff will fall into place.
My life is an interesting one. It is not filled with crazy stories but stories of relationships and love. A relationship can dictate the way your life is headed and if you are not careful you may land head first in a place where you are the only one that exists. Trust me, it sucks to be there.
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